Josh Abrams stared at his final exam that St. Patrick’s Day morning, but he couldn’t see it. The questions blurred and answers vanished completely when about half an hour into the 8 a.m. test, he received a text message from his mom. He had a son.
Thank goodness, Abrams thought, “I don’t think I was ready for a little girl. I know nothing about little girls.”
It’s been almost 20 months since his son, Jayden, was born and Abrams already has a he’s-growing-up-too-fast fatherly air about him. The title of dad suits the 21-year-old Abrams, who is better known in Athens as an explosive kick returner or the Bobcat who pesters opposing kickers.
But after Ohio University’s Homecoming win, he was just a proud father showing off his bushy-haired baby in the locker room at Peden Stadium.
‘You have a son now’Abrams met Jayden’s mother when he was a freshman at OU and she was a senior at Parkersburg High School in West Virginia. When they found out she was pregnant, he was 19.
“I took a day kind of just to reflect on it and after that it was I’ve gotta do this, I’ve gotta do that, we’ve got to get ready,” Abrams said, adding that not taking care of his son was never an option he considered.
“It was OK, Josh, you have a son now, do what you have to do and raise him to be the best man,” he said. “Raise him to be better than you.”
Abrams knew being a parent as a sophomore in college would have its challenges, especially after Jayden’s mother decided to not be a consistent part of their son’s life, but he was not without help.
When it became clear it was up to Abrams to raise his son, his parents offered to take care of Jayden at their home in Brunswick, Md., until Abrams graduated from college, got a job and was able to stand on his own.
“There was never going to be any dropping out of school to get a job and raise the baby,” his mother, Sharon, said. “We told him we’d make sure Jayden’s taken care of and not to worry about it too much.”
But with her grown children far away, Sharon realizes that nothing can really keep a parent from worrying, so she and Abrams’ father, Alvin, spend a good bit of time on the phone recounting Jayden’s day to their son and making the roughly six-hour trip to Athens as much as possible.
“Jayden doesn’t see Joshua all the time and that’s why we try to visit as much as we can,” Sharon Abrams said. “But every time we come up for a game or anything, he goes right to Joshua. That connection is there. He knows him and I think it would hurt Joshua if he didn’t.”
Growing upMore than 300 miles separate father from son while Abrams, a recreation management major, finishes his senior year. But when he’s telling a story about his son Abrams reveals a mature, protective side of himself that’s well-hidden on the football field.
The paternal instinct he exudes when concerned about Jayden’s allergic reaction to a new food is the same as if they were together. When recalling how his father, a track coach, is already training Jayden as a star runner or how his mother tries to keep the bouncy toddler from drawing on the walls, Abrams worries Jayden will drive his grandparents crazy.
“I’m very grateful to them,” Abrams said. “I talk to my mom and sometimes I can hear him in the background yelling just for no reason, just because Dora the Explorer’s on.”
But it’s being able to hear Jayden over the phone that makes it easier for Abrams to be apart from him. He’s anxiously awaiting Thanksgiving weekend, when he’ll host dinner for his family in Athens and get to see Jayden for the first time since Homecoming.
Abrams doesn’t kid himself — he misses his son, but understands that the current arrangement is for the best.
“It has its moments here and there,” Abrams said. “But I know why he’s not here with me. Once I’m done though I’ll get my job and I’ll take him from there and we can start our little life — just father and son.”
Becoming a father, he admits, helped him grow up. He doesn’t ask his parents for help with things at school anymore, Sharon Abrams said, and when she asked him what he wanted for Christmas this year, he said nothing. Just get Jayden something extra.
“I went from an 18-year-old kid to a 20-year old parent, and you realize that some things you used to enjoy you don’t have time for,” Abrams said. “Sometimes I’m able to have fun with friends but most of the time you worry about work when someone’s on your mind all day, every day.”
Reader Comments
This article was well-written and was coupled with very nice photography. As an aspiring journalist myself, I can appreciate that. However, I think it was a poor choice to continue to perpetuate negative stereotypes about Black people (and Black males in general). Especially on a campus where there are very few of us here anyway. There are many Black males who deserve to be commended on this campus, and not because they have a child out of wedlock. While I think it is good that Abrams is taking care of his responsibilities, I don't think he deserved a front page article (or any recognition at all). I understand that you are the Senior sportswriter, but I have to believe there are some football players on this campus who do not have children. Maybe they should be commended. Your article was more of an embarrassment to the rest of the Black students on campus than encouragement. Especially, for those of us who do not praise the single-parent lifestyles that plagues our race. Black students hardly ever get any type of positive coverage in The Post, its sad that when you had an opportunity to change that, you didn't take it. Instead, you chose to portray a Black single father, whose mother is taking care of his "busy-haired" child that he had with some highschool girl while he was still in college. Thanks a lot.
Alissa, why did you have to bring race into this nice story about a young man who is doing the right thing for himself and his son? Race doesn't have anything to do with the responsible, caring man presented here. This story is about a football player who has a son, not a Black football player who has a son.
You should also know how this story came about. Were it not for the fact that the photographer was doing the photo story for a class, it never would have seen the paper. he did the story for class, mentioned it to the writer and they worked together to tell the story. It has nothing to do with Josh being African-American and everything to do with the fact that white or black, a single father is a rare thing to see, especially in college, while maintaining one's grades and playing football.
Why is this university so racially charged? When McDavis was under criticism last year it went straight to race, when certain columnists write articles in The Post, people turn the race card... think for one minute that maybe a news source run by your peers isn't trying to perpetuate any racial stereotype and that maybe they were just trying to tell the story of a young man who it's trying to do the right thing and trying to give his son everything he can by finishing school on time, getting his degree and preparing to take care of him alone...
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