At the beginning of this grand odyssey in word-scrawling, nigh on nine months ago, I circumvented convention and refused to waste my precious space writing the cliché “Let me take a few hundred words to introduce myself” column that has long been an unfortunate tradition of the opinion page.

So now, I think it is fully within my rights to waste that space by saying thank you to a few people.

This might seem a change of pace for those used to satires and parodies crafted for the purpose of excoriating some figure of authority or another, but rest assured, gentle reader; even when expressing sincere, heartfelt gratitude, I can still somehow manage to piss people off.

So first, I would like to thank Post Associate Editor Dan Rinderle, whose repeated lapses of good judgment allowed “Let’s Get Farcical” to appear on Thursdays for three quarters in a row (so blame him if you must).

Also, thanks to the intrepid reporters of The Post for undertaking the tireless task of chronicling the ridiculous crime anecdotes, internal university proceedings and Adventures in Local Government that inspire so many jokes. If they didn’t do all the legwork for me, I’d have to write about farts every week (not that I couldn’t have).

Next, thanks to the good people of Scripps for learning me to write good and proper-like. Specifically, thanks to Deb Gump and Tom Suddes, who have somehow managed to make me actually excited to enter a profession that is continually finding new and exciting ways to send itself straight to hell.

Thanks to Dave Barry, Gene Weingarten, Joel Achenbach, David Sedaris and a host of other humorists for showing me that you can still make a living even if you are no good at anything useful to society.

The university has long maintained that admission standards have not been lowered, but I would like to prove them wrong by also now thanking the directors of the Honors Tutorial College for having admitted the likes of me, and for allowing me to abuse the priority scheduling process in order to take Ultimate Frisbee five times in four years.

And bowling twice.

And tennis.

And broomball.

Also, I would like to the thank the proprietors of Tony’s, Mistretta’s, Pita Pit, D.P Dough, Burrito Buggy, the Dale’s BP beer cooler, the Pabst brewery and Souvlaki’s for helping me to spend all of my money. (Though by all rights I ought to send Souvlaki’s a dry-cleaning bill for all the tzatziki stains my clothing has suffered).

Thanks to the administration of Ohio University for helping me to maintain unhealthy levels of cynicism — ditto to state government — but also thanks to Precollege Director Rick Linn, who showed me that, every once in a while, the person in charge has a clue.

Additionally, thanks to Friday columnist Cheryl Sadler for keeping a closer watch than I on the hilarious goings-on of Cutler Hall. There are simply too many for one person to handle.

Thanks to my housemates — the dumb girl, the eccentric contrarian and the guy who usually doesn’t wear any pants — for putting up with me, and to Mom and Dad for paying the rent and sending meatballs every once in a while.

And thanks to the handful of people who’ve sent e-mail responses to my column for encouraging me in my delinquency.

Finally, thanks to collar-poppers, drunk girls who scream “You haven’t called me in TWO DAYS” into their phones on Court Street, the culture warriors of the Athens News letters page, anyone who’s ever placed an order for 17 hot nuts and a Michelob Light, Congress, the Rev. Pat Robertson and all the people who actually believe he can leg press 2,000 pounds, whoever thought up the idea that four-door sedans need spoilers, every Post columnist past and present, the President of the United States of America, Toby Keith fans the world over and all such other caricatures of human existence who have helped me fill this space week-in and week-out.

In closing, let me say just one final word that I think will sum up the essence of what I’ve tried to say in my brief tenure — poop.