I despise the idea of ever having children, and my primary reason is very logical and simple — money. That might sound callous, but allow me to explain.

I looked at two online tables that calculated the cost of raising a child. They can be found at www.babycenter.com/costofchild and www.moneycentral.msn.com/articles/family/kids/tlkidscost.asp, if you want to double check my figures. If I make between $39,100 and $65,800 a year, which I hope to do as a college graduate with two majors, it will cost between $170,460 and $490,552 to raise a child to the age of 18. That is a huge range, so let’s take the average of them — $330,506. With that amount of money, I could have a wonderful house, a Porsche and a dog. I would love that dog just as much I would love a baby, and I’ll have a Porsche. Where’s the downside?

Don’t think money is the only thing fueling my resistance to children. I would create less waste, which is better for the environment. I would not be contributing to overpopulation. I could buy a smaller car, live in a smaller home and I would use less paper because I would not have one of those inane “My child is an honor student at No One Cares Elementary” bumper stickers. Have you ever read one of those stickers and felt proud for the other driver? Of course not.

We live in a culture where having children is expected. I have a cousin who, at 24, asked me when I was going to have kids. When you are 24, the last thing you should be thinking about is caring for another human being. I am 21 and often feel that I can barely take care of myself.

Every time a celebrity has a child, it is treated like a great miracle that we should revere for its rarity. There is nothing difficult about creating a child, and I do not think we should be giving celebrities pats on the back for it. There are, sadly, too many children in this world that aren’t loved, and I think it would be a lot better for us, culturally, if we cared more for them instead of ogling Branjelina’s babies.

For one final example, turn on MTV. It does not really matter when — the network jumped the shark a long time ago. You’ll find a whiny 20-something from southern California complaining about how hard his or her life is, while driving an $80,000 Range Rover. If that’s not an argument for not contributing to the gene pool, then I don’t know what is.

If I have offended you sensibilities, I apologize. I would never deny any person the right to have a child, as long as he or she can support it. But please don’t tell me I should have a litter of my own.