When I was walking along Court Street last weekend with a friend of three years, we were discussing the storm that almost happened that day and how nice it would have been. Seemingly out of nowhere, she mentioned that it would be great if there were a storm on her wedding night so she could lose her virginity to the sounds of rain and thunder. That comment halted all other thoughts going through my mind for a moment as I processed two interesting effects it had on me: First, I was amused that a seemingly innocent conversation about the weather would lead into a talk about sex. Sometimes it seems as though sex is all youth culture in America can think about today. Second, I was perplexed at the contrasting fact that not only is my friend a virgin, but that she also wants to save herself for marriage.

Now, I have known both of those facts about her for a long time. Not only have I admired her beliefs for a long time, but I used to hold them as my own, as well. I want to say that I still admire them, but I was shocked this past weekend to realize that part of me wanted to laugh when she so simply expressed her thoughts. What is the point in saving yourself, I wanted to ask. Why do Americans make such a big deal about sex, I wanted to demand. And then I wondered when my own feelings had changed so much.

Honestly, I can only speculate on the reason, but I think it has a lot to do with my time in Japan. I think most Americans see Japan and many other Asian countries as being far more conservative than we are ourselves. Why is that? Because they have a longer history of female suppression and modesty? Because they have long-standing traditions of being more refined and reserved in nature than we see ourselves to be? If there is anything I learned from my time in Japan, it is that Japanese people are masters of dual natures, especially with regards to sex.

Take, for example, the practice of love hotels. In Japanese society, most people live with their parents until they get married. That means that even when someone enters the real world with a job, he or she probably works close to home so as to live with the parents. If the person did not secure a job close to home, he or she could very likely live in a dorm made for employees of the company. Late night guests are highly discouraged in such dorms. So what about college students? Again, most college students either go to a college close to their home or commute every day. Athletes and other students with good reason to be living near campus can live in the dormitories, which are not abundant. In the case of a dormitory, though, it is not simple discouragement to have late night visitors — anybody not living in the dormitory is not allowed to enter the building, and opposite genders may not enter each other's rooms. A small number of college students will actually live in apartments, but this is rare. So what happens when youths in Japan want to have sex? Despite being so strict about gender segregation, Japanese society is not naïve enough to believe people simply will abstain from sex if opportunities are difficult to obtain.

So where do people go? Answer: a love hotel! They are cheaper at night than during the day, charge by the hour and are available at any time. The couple needs only to enter the lobby, press the button of the unoccupied room that they want and commence happy times. Rooms can have themes such as looking like an empty subway car. Mostly, though, each room has a queen- or king-sized bed, a large screen television, a large bathtub and probably a sauna. When finished, guests leave, press the button of their room again, receive a ticket and pay in the machine. They never even have to face the awkwardness of talking with a receptionist. A love hotel that a friend of mine visited was approximately $50 for a night, and that cost included room service dinner. That is cheaper than a regular room in the United States and solely for the purpose of having sex! I cannot imagine such a concept within the context of our country.

I think we Americans too often mistake public modesty and segregation as innocence or chastity. Japan clearly shows that outward behavior does not have to dictate societal views. I have to admit that I find the idea of a sexually aware culture that does not believe in displaying skin and perversion all the time to be a refreshing one. Not that I am advocating that everyone in America should go out and have sex all of the time. Maybe we could find a happy medium