Correction appended. 

Good news for all you students hunting for a prestigious summer job or internship! The Ohio attorney general’s office just had four positions open up, with more potentially to follow. Hours are flexible: work on your state-provided laptop from home, the office or at a pajama party hosted by your boss. After a long day’s work, just head to the bars and pass out on your boss’s bed when you get back.

Levity aside, the Ohio attorney general’s office has a pest infestation, and it’s not of the squeaky, cheese-eating variety. It is of the sleazy, ill-tempered political hack variety. Marc “The Man” Dann, who ran for the office in 2006 under the banner of “[taking] on powerful politicians, corrupt corporations, entrenched special interests or anyone else who threatens the well-being of Ohioans.” Of more importance to the voting masses, he had a “D” by his name. Almost as soon as Dann took office, the red flags started to go up, at least among those who cared. Outside a high-profile Democratic fund-raiser, Dann spotted a reporter from the Warren, Ohio, Tribune-Chronicle, Steve Oravecz. Oravecz had recently revealed in the Tribune-Chronicle that Dann had procured government positions for people tied to his campaign: an act that smells of the old Tammany Hall spoils system. In true Dann style, he yelled at Oravecz, quote: “Go f--- yourself!” Truly, Marc “Perform an Anatomically Impossible Action On Yourself” Dann is a man of the people, someone who we should all look up to. Just look at how he respects members of the free press when they do their job!

Most recently, female staffers in Dann’s office have begun to complain of sexual harassment. Anthony Gutierrez, the  director of general affairs, has been accused of sexual harassment, and communications director Leo Jennings has been fired for interfering with the investigation. In January, Dann threw a party for the office, which Gutierrez and Jennings attended. When Gutierrez isn’t crashing state vehicles into parked cars and then leaving the scene, he’s trying to get into interns’ pants with alcohol, if we’re to believe their story. But that’s not all, sports fans. The staffers collaborate the story that Dann is having an affair with his young, attractive scheduler, Jessica Utovich. For some odd reason, Dann refuses to release e-mail evidence pertaining to this aspect of investigation. Coincidentally, Utovich received a 27 percent pay increase almost immediately after Dann hired her. Also coincidentally, the staffers recall Utovich being dressed in pajamas at Dann’s little soirees. Sounds to me like Utovich did the Dann Walk of Shame the night after!

After being faced with the fallout of this scandal — numerous firings and resignations of aides, as well as being made the butt of Republicans’ jokes — Dann, a married man, has admitted to having an affair with an unnamed subordinate of his. Jennings and Gutierrez also admitted to having affairs. If I were a betting man, I’d bet that Dann was referring to Utovich. However, state Democrats have joined with Republicans in calling for Marc “Jailbait” Dann’s resignation. Dann remains defiant, but there has been talk of impeachment hearings at the Rotunda.

Let me be blunt. Marc Dann needs to go, post-haste. He is an embarrassment to Ohioans everywhere, and the corruption, disregard for the law and just plain piggish behavior that has marked his reign needs to end. The Dann scandal is the Ohio version of Elliot Spitzer’s scandal, and I hope that Dann ends up just as disgraced and broken as Spitzer. Evil little men such as Dann deserve no less.

Jesse Hathaway is a junior English major. Send him an e-mail at jh309105@ohiou.edu.

Correction: The original article stated that both Gutierrez and Jennings had been accused of sexual harassment. Only Gutierrez was investigated for harassment; Jennings was fired for attempting to interfere with the investigation.