Use Bobcat cash to purchase a vending machine condom. Head directly upstairs to your lovely's room.

Mentos Movie Date

Take your date to a busy show at the Athena. Pick up two ticket stubs on the ground. Walk past the ticket booth directly into the theater. Carry a roll of Mentos in your pocket in case somebody happens to stop you. It will make all the Athena employees smile and chuckle. Then they'll let you in free anyway. Ah, those kooky Mentos.

Schlitz Date

Beer prices have you in a tizzy? Here's a solution. Frantically run to a bartender at the Union and yell, "Somebody took my Schlitz off the bar!" When they give you a new one for free, smile sweetly and hand it to your date.

Pigs in a Blanket Date

Two sausage patties at Dalt's Classic American Diner are $1.49. Buy them to go. Then wake your date with a breakfast in bed treat...a copy of the Post (always free), a refreshing glass of Athens water and those yummy sausage patties.

Grocery Store Love

What could be nicer than walking hand in hand through Kroger aisles on Sample Day Saturday? The free food runs the gamut from tiny bean and corn burritos to cheese balls to pizza pockets. If you're feeling extra frisky, invent original uses for the shopping cart. And what romantic wouldn't love to make out on shelves of bread?

An Evening with Axl

Souvlaki's features Guns and Roses pinball for only a quarter. Now recall the romantic sounds of "Sweet Child O' Mine" and "Paradise City." The game even showcases two topless scorecard girls. Now that's class.

The Secret Chinese Food Date

What makes any excursion to China Buffet more enjoyable? Tupperware! Plastic baggies work for this trick, too. Shell out the cash to eat lunch by yourself at the buffet, then grab everything in sight. Eggrolls are a popular choice because of their compact pocket size. Later, surprise your loved one with a full spread of Mu Shu Pork and Lo Mein. Remember, the size of this picnic is only limited by the amount of Tupperware you bring along.

Bassmaster Date

Impress your honey by wielding a fishing pole. Don some L.L. Bean, grab your bait and your date, and go fishing on the Hocking. After mastering your rod, you're sure to hook something. Later, fry up that glowing, three-eyed trout or bass. Deeelicious.

Dumpster Date

Most restaurants ditch the extra food at the end of the evening in a dumpster. Think of all that Burger King, Gold Star Chili or Bakery pizza that would go to waste if you don't help them recycle. Your date will be impressed while watching you wade through that waste on your admirable quest. Then when you finally find that juicy treasure known to some as the Big King, they are guaranteed to swoon.

Music and Lovin' Marathon

Become a groupie. Whenever a band is scheduled to play, arrive at the venue about five hours early. Sit and get some sauce into you as you wait for them to arrive. Next, sleep with the band member of your choice or all at the same time. Teach them who their daddy is. When your date meets you later, they (and all their friends) will be able to get in free.