What pervert picked a man in a diaper with a bow and arrow to be the symbol for Valentine's Day?

Noooooooooo! No more money! No Ping fee, no tuition increase, no technology fee! NO!

Valentine's Day is a sick communist plot. Hallmark is planning a world takeover.

I said "no" to drugs, but they just wouldn't listen.

You know times are changing when Valentine hearts start reading "e-mail me" and "www.cupid."

Sex on television can't hurt you ... unless you fall off.

Valentine note: Chivalry isn't dead. It's just wasted.

My math teacher said we'd get extra credit if we wrote his name in Chinese on our tests ... Did I sign up for the right class?

Why don't buggy employees ever ask, "Is this for here?"

Hey, TV here may suck, but Baywatch seems to be on all the time, and that can't be a bad thing.

I'm going to leave my house early Saturday morning for a walk around campus wearing Friday's clothes, just so everyone thinks I got some.

When are some freshman guys going to realize that their hormones are not quite ready to grow facial hair yet?